Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
