is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
