If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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