If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize