Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
