He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
