I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
