She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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