Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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