The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
