im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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