You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
