I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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