So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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