you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
