craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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