Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  enjoy the hospital

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  (574): New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy (860): enjoy the hospital http://tfl.nu/9tp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2267) Bad night (726)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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  (402): i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty http://tfl.nu/i6m7
  Replies (95) Good night (3168) Bad night (1050)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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  (240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua
  Replies (20) Good night (2766) Bad night (4432)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

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  (860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch
  Replies (14) Good night (4460) Bad night (1124)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."

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  (828): I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke." http://tfl.nu/rseq
  Replies (48) Good night (1374) Bad night (9799)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila makes me forget i have legs

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  (250): tequila makes me forget i have legs http://tfl.nu/9rzk
  Replies (25) Good night (6115) Bad night (1254)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"

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  (418): You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry" http://tfl.nu/nwle
  Replies (11) Good night (6932) Bad night (1082)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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  (413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d
  Replies (8) Good night (3752) Bad night (795)
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  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

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  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3279) Bad night (1067)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

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  (401): i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house. http://tfl.nu/foqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1276) Bad night (1570)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.

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  (505): Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking. http://tfl.nu/b01w
  Replies (37) Good night (1303) Bad night (5193)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.

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  (724): The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost. http://tfl.nu/1p7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (606)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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  (484): Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain? http://tfl.nu/2na3
  Replies (11) Good night (1194) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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  (931): He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob (1-931): Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic http://tfl.nu/rfmh
  Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (379)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (479)

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