Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for