Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just be blunt and say drink from my dick

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  (757): Just be blunt and say drink from my dick http://tfl.nu/8snw
  Replies (1) Good night (1479) Bad night (688)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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  (614): This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz (1-614): Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual. http://tfl.nu/85jo
  Replies (16) Good night (1710) Bad night (607)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?

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  (303): I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day? http://tfl.nu/tvel
  Replies (19) Good night (3088) Bad night (787)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2572) Bad night (979)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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  (617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9
  Replies (13) Good night (3079) Bad night (1949)
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  (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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  (707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x
  Replies (15) Good night (5174) Bad night (1873)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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  (336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things. http://tfl.nu/s0f9
  Replies (23) Good night (4137) Bad night (1157)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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  (240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16
  Replies (20) Good night (3809) Bad night (1579)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant

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  (812): So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant http://tfl.nu/h2w3
  Replies (19) Good night (1246) Bad night (2985)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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  (518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9
  Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (2610)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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  (870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1930) Bad night (772)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it

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  (330): You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it http://tfl.nu/ejzt
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (568)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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  (402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l
  Replies (14) Good night (2669) Bad night (743)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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  (407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (1021)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (774) Bad night (1177)

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