Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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(706): View more from Georgia

Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up

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(415): View more from California

Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?

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(713): View more from Texas

Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.

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(904): View more from Florida

My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.

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