it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
