Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.