I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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