There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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