Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
