He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
