how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
