i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
