Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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