the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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