if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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