wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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