She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
