Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize