how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
