We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
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My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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