Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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