I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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