Non-Jews are for practice
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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