but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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