He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
