just come out here and I will go home with you...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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