So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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