he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
