Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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