Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize