i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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