Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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