tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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