I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
