some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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