So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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