You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would ride that face into the sunset
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
