Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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