am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
