I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
honey bunches of taint.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
