Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
