dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
