You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
