But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
