You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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