ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
