When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
