His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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