after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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