the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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