Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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