went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
