i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
