Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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