it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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