Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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