small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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