the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
